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I think a lot of my frustrations with this VGC Meta have been caused by me being primarily an old gen player for smogon singles. Like in Gen 3/4, which is exclusively what I ladder and play, you basically have no surprises.
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In this format there's lots of 50/50s. Who protects, who does this, who does that. It's about making the best decision that causes the least losses in a format that's like ULTRA swingy(compared to singles). Making a comeback in VGC feels almost entirely different than in singles.
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In singles you can spend like 20 minutes just doubling and slowly chipping. VGC is nothing like that, so it's easy to get ultra distraught.
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In the end I worry my ranked anxiety and stuff isn't getting better, but that I am just getting better at the format, feeling less low confidence cuz of it.
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Also not being able to calc is insane.